Wednesday, December 10, 2008

where my life at?

I always feel guilty when I don't write for long periods of time (i.e. 3 or more days pass without a post). I've been feeling really unmotivated about everything, lately, and generally unproductive with my day. Unemployment doesn't look good on me.

I've been kind of a physical mess lately. I spend most of my day in my pajamas, I go to bed between 3 and 4am and wake up between 11 and 1pm, I'm basically living off of Boost and ice cream as I'm financially very afraid of going to the grocery store (chill out, mom.. it's a slight exaggeration), I've been having some f-ed up dreams lately that are really screwing with my head, and I'm struggling to let stupid things go that I shouldn't have in the first place. Oh, and I find myself really missing my glasses in a most desperate kind of way.. especially when my career of choice involves me staring at a computer screen for absurd amounts of time.

The good news is, I'm doing FAR better with my status than I was 2 years ago when I was in this position. Nonetheless, I could be doing better.

So.. here's to positive thinking and getting my ass off this damn couch.. and getting in touch with my school about jobs that are actually in my industry and could help me far better than throwing myself into retail suicide. I'm going to fine.


Kara said...

I can really relate to this post. I am also unemployed and looking for a job. Many nights I go to bed between 2-3am and wake up at noon... I go to therapy and pilates and then do nothing the rest of the week. I'm living at home with my parents and my mom is starting to get on my case about getting a job. I'm miserable, yet I'm doing much better than I was a year ago. I wish you the best and hope that you get a good job soon.

saa said...

Aww i was just thinking that i missed your posts and hoped you were okay. Good luck with everything, and do not be too hard yourself! Take Care!

Tiptoe said...

Emmy, *hugs*

Being unemployed can be rough. When motivation is not there, it really makes is hard to keep moving ahead, but I am glad that you are in such a better place now than 2 years ago. It is a reminder that you can get through the tough stuff!

As for the opportunity, would you regret it if you didn't apply?

Good luck on your interview tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Labyrinith said...

Honey, I hope you are making those FABULOUS Boost Shakes you mentioned before! I got a thing in the mail about increasing your chances for food stamps. Why not try again. Also, maybe buying things like PB, whole milk (I know, but hey gets things in) and know the drill. Come up w/ some stuff with your nutritionist or bob. Being on a better sleep/awake schedule will help. I hear you on feeling so in a funk and I got a job-now i have these major stomach issues that are keeping me from getting to said job. I love you! I was missing the posts too. xoxoxoox

Jess Furrow said...

wow, you remind me of myself a lot - i just graduated college with a degree in photography and am having NO luck fining a job. i have to move back home with my parents because i've also had NO luck finding a roommate and a new place to live.
hope you have better luck than I am!

Anonymous said...

I say this from a place of wishing you the best in your job search and not out of snarkiness ... but, you probably don't want to announce your "thrilled/not thrilled" status about any given potential opportunity, since things have a way of getting back to people.

What if the interviewer/employer does a computer/google/metacrawler/pipl search on your name, email, other links back to you that come here? You're pretty identifiable, and it would be awkward and probably not so good for your chances at something that maybe isn't your top choice but would buy you more than Boost and ice cream.

emmy. said...

you make a very good point.
i forget how public i actually am sometimes.

that whole paragraph was, perhaps, too much information and not really necessary to the point of the post.

thanks :)