Tonight, I was talking to my friend about how I was trying to gain weight. He asked me what happened that I had lost so much and - being open about what I've been through - I told him I had been working on recovering from anorexia. After explaining (the short version, of course) and telling him that I was now working hard to pull my weight (literally) on the physical end, he replied with, "Wow, I had been thinking you'd put on a little weight."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it looks like you've gained a few pounds!"
That, my friends, totally made my night. I felt like most women seem to feel when their friends tell them, "Wow, have you lost weight?"
Does anyone else wonder why the number of women trying to gain weight doesn't balance the number of women trying to lose? That always bothers me.
5 comments:
Well, you're definitely in the minority in terms of being happy about gaining weight, but that's okay. :) Was your friend surprised at the idea that you *wanted* to gain weight, even after you told him you were in recovery from anorexia?
Hmm, I had a different kind of experience this weekend. My roommate's boyfriend, who knows I have an eating disorder but doesn't know me that well, remarked, "You've gained weight." I said thanks for noticing, but it still aggravated me. While I know gaining weight is a positive thing, I don't always conceptualize it that way. I wound up resenting his comment. I wish he would have waited until I brought it up.
Congratulations for being able to see that his comment was a positive thing! Last week I had my FIRST "you're gaining weight" comment of the current recovery attempt, my knee-jerk reaction was to freak out, except for the last part that the person tagged onto the comment. She said: "You've put on some weight, I bet you feel so much better." That made me pause to think, because I really actually do, I think we just don't always let ourselves realize the quality of life benefits when we're stressing over the numbers/mirror.
Congratulations on making progress and being able to keep healthy perspective, you have a lot to be proud of!
Yeah, he seemed a little surprised when I was so flattered. And Cammy, I think that's such an important thing for someone to think about as they're gaining weight and the comments that inevitably come along with it.. it's not just how we look as we recover.. it's that we start to feel incredible because we're becoming *healthy*. There's nothing that can compare to that.
A compliment is hard to accept no matter what it is! Gaining weight is a hard thing to adjust to, but necessary in gaining our selves back in recovery. I've haven't had anyone (except myself) comment on my weight gain - so I'm not sure how I'd take it (cause when it is my inner critic saying it - I hate it). But, I know it's necessary and that it has given me so much more that extra pounds.
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