while his blog usually has no consistent focus around food, nutrition, or his own body specialties ("the 'beetus" as we like to call it), he has graced us with a bit on our nation's obsession with up-selling. we love to up-sell, even when it means pushing abnormally and dangerously large portion sizes that we later like to bitch about when discussing our country's collective weight problems. *sigh* oh well. enjoy :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
size matters.
while his blog usually has no consistent focus around food, nutrition, or his own body specialties ("the 'beetus" as we like to call it), he has graced us with a bit on our nation's obsession with up-selling. we love to up-sell, even when it means pushing abnormally and dangerously large portion sizes that we later like to bitch about when discussing our country's collective weight problems. *sigh* oh well. enjoy :)
Friday, March 28, 2008
jan & aug need not apply.
i've heard it before that eating disorders are more often diagnosed in men and women born during the summer months. maybe it's because you're born directly into a bikini-body-obsessed world? who knows.
okay, so this chart isn't 100% accurate. don't live by it or anything ;)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
media review: thin.
when THIN came out in 2oo6, there were only 5 million documented cases of eating disorders in the united states, as opposed to the 8 millon that are now known of. i, myself, had just become one of the documented cases, and was so excited to see a movie was coming out that related to everything that had come crashing down on me. however, we no longer had HBO by that point in time and i missed out, aside from hearing all about it from the rest of my community.
the things i had been hearing were that it was undeniably triggering; that it was focused more on insurance facts than anything; that it portrayed eating disorder patients as purely dishonest and conniving girls. i was upset with lauren greenfield based on all of these reviews given to me by the other patients in my programs, which was obviously unfair of me. (my apologies, lauren.)
before all else, i would like to express my great concern for anyone who is still in mental recovery from an eating disorder to watch this film. frequently, exact weights are shown, there are many detailed shots of body frames and healing, self-inflicted wounds, and - on top of specific behaviors being discussed - 2 of the girls were shot while using behaviors. it can easily be extremely triggering (as many patients have told me they were triggered while watching this). please, please use your best judgement before viewing.
THIN is certainly a very honest and no-holds-barred documentary. i do think that lauren did a phenomenal job capturing life on the eating disorder unit. more than anything, i was frustrated with the way some things were/are run at the renfrew facilities, but those opinions are based solely off of what i viewed in the documentary and what i have heard from friends who have been through their program; i have never been a patient at any of the three renfrew treatment centers.
the documentary follows four girls (of varying ages and behavior patterns) through their experiences in renfrew's care. the greenfield crew was able to get as up close and personal as to be in the nurse's rooms for weigh-ins, sit in on groups, witness the girls' "private" interactions with each other, and even rounds (the staff meetings where patients' specific treatment plans are discussed). the important part of the interactions, specifically those that would be seen as detrimental to a patient's treatment, is how they were dealt with and watching the girls work through it. at the risk of sounding mushy, it was beautiful watching how some of the girls grew through certain situations and were able to step up and make the decisions they knew they needed to.
i sat with a knot in my stomach as the opening scenes played. i expected a wave of flashbacks to wash over me throughout the movie... and they did, but they didn't effect me in the i-want-that-back type way i thought they might. i expected to maybe feel a little triggered - despite my place in recovery - which, frankly, scared the crap out of me. i did not. and i believe that strengthened my frame of mind all the more. i'm unstoppable, now ;)
what i did feel was... a lot. i felt like i wanted to talk to these girls myself, as if i could hit that magic switch for them and make them suddenly say to themselves, "oh my god, you're right! fuck this, i'm giving up all my behaviors!" i felt a gut-wrenching pain for brittany (15), who reminded me of a very inward-turned version of a 16-year-old i was on the EDU with; neither of them wanting anything to do with a life away from fatally skinny. i felt disturbed by many of the faculty decisions, the most disturbing being that the bathrooms were left unlocked (seriously?!), and one of the nurses telling a patient about 5" taller than me that she should be at 100 lbs when i should be at almost 120... are you fucking kidding me??
ah, wait, there is something 'frew does that walden never did, and i think it's fantastic: body outlines. the patient draws an outline of what s/he thinks his/her body looks like on paper. then, s/he stands in front of it or lays on it and someone else traces them. it's a genius way to give a little bit of insight into our own thought distortion. we asked to do it once on alcott; i wonder if they ever did.
my opinions on the center aside, it was a very well done documentary. i can't image how difficult it must have been for lauren greenfield and her crew to be in certain situations. again, i strongly recommend you thinking carefully about watching if you are in recovery or have any sensitivity around weight. as for parents, friends and loved ones, this is a great look into treatment, but i would also absolutely suggest that you do not draw assumptions about your friend/family member based solely upon this movie. i have bad experiences with people who read and watch eating disorder-related media and consider themselves suddenly well-educated on the subject...
as an approved media selection, you may now purchase it from amazon via the media section on the right side of my blog. enjoy in good health.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
rockin' the blender; recipe #2.
chocolate raspberry boost frappé.
8 oz high-protein chocolate boost
4 oz chocolate ice cream*
1 tbsp raspberry jam
1 ice cube
(1/2 cup 1% milk would have been great, but i ran out of milk)dump in the bullet (or old school blender...i don't judge...), mix it up, stick in a straw. mmmmm.
*hagan daaz sells tiny 4.23oz containers - perfect amount for shake-making. not to mention, cutest. ice creams. ever.
this one's awesome because you can't taste boost at all. it just tastes like a chocolate shake, which is huge for me. nothing turns me off more to a drink than it tasting like someone through a bunch of vitamins in a blender with some Hershey's syrup. *gag*
enjoy!
Monday, March 24, 2008
mixing passions.
(1) my photography practicum is coming up.
prac·ti·cum (prăk'tĭ-kəm)
n.A school or college course, especially one in a specialized field of study, that is designed to give students supervised practical application of previously studied theory: advanced practicums in teaching reading.
[German Praktikum, from Late Latin prācticum, neuter of prācticus, practical. See practical.]
it's very similar to an internship; i will be working with a non-profit organization who needs my photographic services for a promotional project of some sort. it begins on april 7th and i will be working with the organization until a week before graduation.
we received a list of organizations on friday: planned parenthood, angell (mspca), and a ton of others that continue to apply for our services each year. meda has never applied, but i'm going to be building a pitch to them over the next couple days.
my practicum adviser said she would get in touch with them to introduce our project while i write my ideas out. she said it's rare for an organization to turn a student down (hey, free promo work!). i just have to find a pitch that avoids anything that may cross the confidentiality line. she said she's really excited to see how i could combine the two passions i have. so am i :)
if they don't need me, my friend and i might apply for planned parenthood and/or the wildlife preservation, but i'm really hoping for meda. i'll let you know it works out.
(2) this is a personal photo project i would like to do. i'd like to collect scales (old, shitty, broken, new...as long as they don't have athlete's foot) and do a smash up shoot. if it comes out well, maybe i can use it for something - if nothing else, maybe my gallery show in may.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
heavy dreams.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
teen angst 101: dbt skills.
there have been many cases in the past month alone where i find myself frustrated by the lack of dbt skills that i've had branded onto each half of my brain. you cannot "graduate" from any form of mental health treatment without really mastering and understanding these skills. now, i was extremely lucky to find that while my parents didn't know there was a formal name for it, they had raised me with some of this knowledge. what kills me is that too many people are lucky to even learn it in their lifetimes, let alone early enough (aka childhood).
let's discuss how imperative it is to spend years and years learning how to use numbers (my math teacher was right; they are everywhere), how to dissect classic american literature (yes...that's come in handy so many times since i graduated high school), and...insert something here that one of my 14 history teachers talked about that definitely i wasn't paying attention to. got it. these are the lessons that form our future, correct?
alright, great, we know how to count our change, read a book, and i think someone once told me segregation is bad (despite the fact that our country still judges you based on race). however, while we were learning that, 100% of the student body was fighting with their family each night, being told that they were worthless human beings if they received an A- or lower (or finished their dinner), were being denied treatment for mental disorders because some parents don't want to admit their child isn't perfect, and/or learning that heartbreak feels as physically painful as having a limb ripped off and then being beaten with it. so, why isn't there a class for that in every high shool? do you realize we have to learn to speak a foreign language before we're even taught how to properly communicate using our own??
we have to take physical and health education; where's my mental health education? is it such a taboo subject because it's not taught to us in school? this is, of course, excluding the psychology elective that teaches bipolar disorder as if it's as uncommon as the black plague.
dialectical behavioral therapy (dbt) should be a 3 year high school course (10-12). raise your hand if you just asked, "dia-what??" one...two...thre- is your hand up? stop stretching, you're screwing up my count...four...five... okay, so about...millions of you. huh. well, if you don't need to be in treatment, why would you need to know this, right? i will bet that the millions of you have needed to confront someone about pissing you off... or you smoke... or your stressing yourself into pancreatic cancer...
dbt is a form of therapy developed by psychologist marsha m. linehan with the purpose of treating bpd. now, it is used for treatment of nearly all mental disorders. however, i strongly believe that the skills being taught in this method are skills that may be more effective if used before the onset of whatever leads the individual to treatment in the first place. there is no person in this world that does not need to know what dbt is.
the dbt skills include:
- mindfulness
- distress tolerance
- emotional regulation
- interpersonal relationships
on my right side, i've started a list of recommended books. more will be coming. i highly recommend at least checking it out.
now...how do i go about adding real life emotional skills to the K-12 curriculum and possibly eliminating eating disorders (and urges to commit homicide...) before they start?
Friday, March 14, 2008
dear emmy.
I know this is random and I'm sorry, no need to offer advice if you don't want to :-)I stumbled across your blog, and although I'm not really sure how, you're an amazing writer, and you're story is one which I hope provides inspiration to many others.I know you have been there, and I wanted advice. One of my closest friends (or well, at one time before she began to separate herself from others due to depression and anorexia), has been in and out of treatment for a few months now. I try to be there for her, and I know that its hard because I can't completely understand where she is coming from, but I want to be there for her, and I want her to know that many people do in care about her and want the best for her. Basically, I try to leave her nice voicemails, and text's but when they aren't returned its hard to find the motivation to continue. It's hard because I'm not sure if there is anything I can say that will help her, and certainly don't want to furthur damage a friend. I guess I'm just searching for the right things to say to her, and was wondering if you had any thoughts/ideas?
first things first, never apologize for e-mailing me asking for help. i love getting e-mails from my readers; it just shows me that my blog is serving its purpose.
i'm sorry to hear about your friend. i know how difficult it must be from the outside. i've been on both sides of the spectrum, unfortunately, and it doesn't make it much easier. isolation is a huge problem with eating disorders and depression. i used to lock myself in my room for days and not talk to *anyone*. i lost contact with a lot of friends during that time. the first thing i want you to be aware of is that it's nothing personal - which, it seems like you know, but it's important to make sure.
i'm wondering what kinds of things you tell her? i'm sure it always feels like you're walking on eggshells when you talk to her. even i feel like that with my eating disordered friends because everyone reacts to words differently, no matter how similar the disorder. some of the hardest things to hear are, "you look healthy", "you've really filled out" or "you look good!" they seem like great compliments, but when you say these things to someone with an eating disorder, they hear "you've gained weight" and "you've gotten fat." "you're beautiful" never hurts, though ;) but it's also difficult for many to take compliments in general, so even that might make her uncomfortable, but i don't believe that means you shouldn't compliment. just don't say it because it's a nice thing to say; mean it.
the best thing you can do is not push too hard. just let her know that you're there when she needs someone and you're always ready to talk. you can't make her stop her behaviors and, unfortunately, you can't make her better. i know how difficult that is. i hated watching my best friend go through it, even though i was, too. it's torture to watch.
just let her know how much she means to you and how much you love her and let her have her space. however, once in a while, it never hurts to really push for her to come out with you. isolation is a dangerous thing and she should really try to fight the urge to lock herself away.
just don't give up. i've seen unbelievable things. pass my blog on to your friend. maybe it will help her to see what's possible. as a patient, it was very hard for me to fight for my reovery thinking that it might just not be possible. when i was able to see that full recovery really existed, that's when i was eager to turn my life around.
the most important thing to remember is that she's not doing this intentionally. this is a *disease*; it's not a chosen lifestyle. she's sick and i'm glad to hear she has been seeking professional help. the best you can do is support her.
i hope this was helpful. if any readers have any advice to add, please feel free to leave your comments.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
reader's recipe #1.
1 cup super premium coffee ice cream (Hagen-Daaz or Ben and Jerry's), softened
1 cup whole milk
1 packet chocolate carnation instant breakfast
blend all (carrie also rocks the magic bullet).
top with redi-whip and cocoa powder.
i know a few others, besides myself, who have an odd reaction to carnation powder. however, carnation sells supplements in boxes (like juice boxes) that, for some reason, don't effect me. they're just good. so, if you have the same issue, you can also swap that in. same with a boost or ensure.
thanks, carrie :)
feel free to send more supplement improvement recipes my way.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
the daily boost train.
here's a recipe i threw together today:
the chocolate weight-restoration coffee shake.
8 oz chocolate boost (or ensure plus)
1/2 cup vanilla bean ice cream
1/2 cup 1% milk
1/2 cup refrigerated coffee
2 tbsp vanilla caramel cream
2 ice cubes
pour it all into a blender (i highly recommend owning a magic bullet) and mix that shit up. pop in a straw and enjoy! i would advise pouring it into a cup first, but that's all personal preference, i suppose.
it's easy to change it up, too. use chocolate, vanilla, whatever. i wish i had frozen raspberries to throw in. i've also heard pb is great for a shake - a good way to get extra fat/protein in, also. play around. there are so many ways to get your resources and avoid getting sick of them. i will not condone adding anything into the mix that is low in fat or fat free, artificial (such as sweet & low or splenda), etc.
if you have any good supplement recipes you would like to share, e-mail them to me and i'll be happy to post them.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
MH PARTIY PASSES 268-to-148!!
click on the screen shot below to read the article from this morning's boston globe:
what does this mean for eating disorder patients?
basically, this requires that mental illnesses (eating disorders included) be treated the same as physical illnesses when it comes to insurance coverage. it also takes much of the insurance company's control from under them when deciding the length and degree of treatment needed by patients, as well as denying them the right to limit outpatient visits. this is huge.
an e-mail from the EDC...
Eating Disorders Awareness Helps Mental Health Parity Pass in House Vote
PRESS RELEASE
MARCH 6 2008
CONTACT MARC LERRO, 202-543-9570
Eating disorders were front and center in the debate leading to yesterday’s passage of mental health parity in the U.S. House of Representatives. The House passed the parity bill by a vote of 268 to 148.
The House version of a national mental health parity bill includes broad definitions of mental illness that would include eating disorders. A Senate bill passed last year offers fewer protections but is likely to become the final version that Congress will send for the president’s signature. The Eating Disorders Coalition has supported both House and Senate versions, but prefers the House bill.
Yesterday’s action in the House marks the first time in 12 years that mental health parity has been brought to a vote. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi agreed to schedule a vote, reversing the long-held opposition of former House Speaker Dennis Hastert. The EDC was in the front row during yesterday’s rally at the Capitol. Speakers included House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, Rep. Jim Ramstad, Rep. Patrick Kennedy, former first lady Rosalynn Carter, and David Wellstone. The audience included singer-songwriter Carole King and U.S. Senate candidate Al Franken.
Since the beginning of the 110th Congress, the Eating Disorders Coalition and other mental health advocates have had numerous opportunities to bring the issue to the attention of congressional committees. EDC President Kitty Westin testified in Congress and spoke at a parity rally with Speaker Pelosi in 2007, recalling the loss of her daughter after the family’s insurance company denied treatment for Anna Westin’s eating disorder.
EDC Executive Director Marc Lerro says, “We made our points so often that members of Congress started making our points for us. In committee meetings, Republicans and Democrats alike described how parity could affect people with eating disorders.”
David Wellstone, founder of Wellstone Action, campaigned aggressively for the passage of the House bill. He often cited eating disorders as an example of mental health conditions that may not be fully covered under the weaker Senate bill. Wellstone was critical of the Senate bill and refused to allow the bill to be named in memory of his father, the late Senator Paul Wellstone.
Wellstone told National Public Radio’s Julie Rovner, “My dad always believed that you can’t leave people out. You can’t have people like Kitty Westin, who was his friend and my friend, who’s daughter had an eating disorder and went in and was told ‘we have to figure out if this is a medical necessity.’”
During a national speaking tour in support of parity, members of Congress in several major cities appeared with speakers who had first-hand experience with eating disorders. In Washington, D.C., the EDC hosted educational briefings and sent mailings that also kept the issue before policymakers at the Capitol. Last week, the Coalition hosted a briefing in the House of Representatives titled “Eating Disorders: From Stigma to Science,” which drew a capacity bipartisan audience.
Next, negotiations between the House and Senate must close the gap between the two bills before a final piece of legislation can be sent to the president. Rep. Kennedy is willing to compromise. He told NPR, “I’m not an all-or-nothing person. I want something, and then I can add to it next year, and the year after, and the year after that. That’s the way Congress works. I’ve watched my father over the years. I’ve taken lessons.”
###
The Eating Disorders Coalition for Research, Policy & Action is working in Washington, D.C., to increase awareness, educate policymakers, and promote understanding about the disabling and life-threatening effects of eating disorders. Our mission is to advance the federal recognition of eating disorders as a public health priority.
Visit us on the Web at eatingdisorderscoalition.org.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
israeli fashion photographer takes a stand.
[thanks to kc elaine for bringing this story to my attention.]
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
fight for mental health parity.
it would take about 2 minutes tops out of your day to shoot an e-mail to our rep and help this get passed.
Dear MEDA supporters:
If you are interested in advocating for mental health parity for eating disorders, which would ultimately result in an increase in insurance benefits, please read the message below sent by the Academy For Eating Disorders (AED) and call or email before Wednesday.
Kristin Fabbri, M.A.
Director of Education and Outreach
MEDA
92 Pearl Street
Newton, MA 02458
(p) 617.558.1881 x15 (f) 617.558.1771
Dear AED Members,
Thanks to the efforts of citizens, policy makers and advocacy groups across America the House of Representatives has scheduled a historic vote on a comprehensive mental health/substance use parity bill on Wednesday, March 5. This vote is critical to our shared goal of winning enactment of a strong mental health parity law this year. We can pass this legislation now but we need your help:
Call the Toll-Free Parity Hotline @ 1-866-parity4
Given the importance of this vote, please take a minute to also call your Representative using the toll-free Parity Hotline, 1-866-parity4 (1-866-727-4894). The Parity Hotline reaches the Capitol switchboard, which can connect callers to their members of Congress. If you do not know the name of your Representative, click here. Please make this important call before Wednesday, March 5th.
Message: “I am calling to ask that the Representative vote for H.R. 1424, the Paul Wellstone Mental Health & Addiction Equity Act. Parity is a fair and affordable solution to insurance discrimination that will save lives and families.”
Send an e-mail: Urge your member of Congress to support passage of H.R.1424, the Paul Wellstone Mental Health and Addiction Equity Act by sending an e-mail. Go to your Representatives website for her/his e-mail address.
Any supporter of this legislation can sign up to become a “citizen cosponsor” of the bill by going to www.equitycampaign.net.
With your help we can get finally get this done. Thank you in advance for your support!
AED Advocacy Committee
Wendy Oliver-Pyatt, MD
Founder, Oliver-Pyatt Centers
Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Nevada
www.oliverpyattcenters.com
Office: 886.511.HEAL (4325)
Cellular: 775-250-2421