Thursday, April 10, 2008

i am not my eating disorder.

i was reviewed today by ask and ye shall receive. aside from having a problem with my boycotting of the shift key, it was a rather helpful review. the part i was interested most by was that she was bothered by the fact that i never really let my readers into my personal life. i don't do it on purpose, though it is true. i suppose i have figured that i should stick to the topic and my personal life would be irrelevant. however, this blog did originate as a personal blog about my recovery and i believe that part of recovery is realizing that, as we are repeatedly taught, i am not my eating disorder. i have/had anorexia, but it is not who i am. so, i believe i'll let my readers into who i am without Ed.

50 things:
  1. my name is emily sam.
  2. my birthday is 28 july 1986.
  3. i am the ultimate summer baby. if it's 70ยบ+, i'm in heaven.
  4. i am a reform jew, but my beliefs are more spiritual than religious.
  5. i write in all lowercase for comfort reasons that i can't describe.
  6. i have never been outside of the country aside from 1 day spent on a haitian beach.
  7. i have a crush on every nice guy with an irish or israeli accent.
  8. i love math, but almost didn't graduate hs because i never did my algebra hw.
  9. i am a dropout musical theatre major.
  10. acting is the one thing that is guaranteed to get my lazy ass out of bed any day at any time without complaint.
  11. i was born and raised a bostonian (dis my sox, i dis yo face.)
  12. i believe i was born on the wrong coast - i'm a boston girl with a cali heart.
  13. i have been completely and utterly head-over-heals in love.
  14. my childhood nickname was "beaver" - my dad's side has enormous teeth.
  15. my addictions consist of photoshop, blogging, and performing.
  16. i've acted since i was 5, but i've *never* gotten to do a stage-kiss.
  17. i'm a leo to the core. i love being in the spotlight.
  18. i was bat mitzvahed on 9/18 in the "year of chai" (5760 -> 5+7+6= 18).
  19. my motto to live by: "everything happens for a reason" has never failed me.
  20. there is one thing nobody knows about me.
  21. i would rather cut off a limb than learn about history.
  22. i have 2 tv crushes: jim halpert (the office) and jd (scrubs).
  23. i love hospital shows (scrubs, house, grey's...).
  24. i try to use every last scrap of tp or else i feel like it didn't get to fulfill its life purpose.
  25. i'm pretty sure i was a cat in my last life.
  26. i'm a massage whore and i'm not ashamed.
  27. nothing makes me happy quite like a good summer storm.
  28. i love my handwriting.
  29. i would kill to be in a dance class again.
  30. i fucking love pie.
  31. i'm scared that i will be forced to settle.
  32. i don't agree with "PC", but i am always appropriate in mixed crowds.
  33. i am emetophobic.
  34. i have no idea what i'm doing after i graduate in less than 40 days.
  35. i love flannel pj pants like nobody's business.
  36. creative, spontaneous romance wins every time.
  37. my cat is my baby and i love him beyond words.
  38. when i go through a major life change, my hair goes with it.
  39. i've been dying my hair since i was 12. name a color, i've done it.
  40. i believe that just because our "love trends" may consist primarily of men or women, no one is 100% gay or straight. the only thing you can be 100% of is human.
  41. i find working out utterly boring.
  42. i really suck at swimming.
  43. i can't wait to have the money to spontaneously skip town for a few days.
  44. if it's butterscotch, i love it.
  45. 9 years ago, i thought my grandfather died because i prayed too hard for a snow day.
  46. in general, women annoy me. i'm very attracted to how simple men can be.
  47. i wish normal body functions weren't something people had to be ashamed of.
  48. whenever i learn something new about life, i imagine myself teaching it to my child.
  49. my imagination is far too involved to ever watch horror movies.
  50. one of my life goals is to have the money to send someone to ED treatment who needs it, but is denied by insurance.


Mama said...

That was great! Thank youfor letting us get a glimpse of who you are besides a recovering anorexic. I love warm weather too, the winters in Maryland are killing me...
I love pie too.
You need to get outside this country!!! The US is great but there is so much more out there to be discovered...aaawwww, Paris!!!
I was born and raised in Sweden and that's a nice place too.

KC Elaine said...

great to get to know you better!

Jenna said...

Today was my first time visiting your blog and I learned a lot about you! Nice to meet you! : ]

Ana said...

Hi Emmy,

It's interesting how Frozen Pork Chops is irritated by the lack of capitalization...I actually didn't notice it until it was pointed out.

They also find it odd that, until this post (which is fabulous! something about lists that I love), we don't learn a lot about you as a person rather than as the ED (although, admittedly, it will take me a while before I've read all your blog).

Thing is, I don't find this so odd at all. I do the same fact, everyday Me and ED Me are very much separated and live two somewhat separate lives. Partly this is because I don't think the real truth would be accepted by my colleagues, partly out of shame, and partly because a good deal of time has passed...but nonetheless, it's always this way. I'm a very private person, and an ED is a very private thing...but maybe that's just me.

Look at me, this is almost turning into a blog posting itself!

Anyway, also just wanted to say that I can totally relate to # 46!

Fabulous post that gives us just enough little snippets into your life :)

WeightingGame said...

Like Jenna, this is my first visit and I feel like I already want to be friends! Some of these just cracked me UP! Including (but not limited to):

i would rather cut off a limb than learn about history.

i try to use every last scrap of tp or else i feel like it didn't get to fulfill its life purpose.

i'm pretty sure i was a cat in my last life.

i would kill to be in a dance class again. (ME TOO!)

i fucking love pie.

Oh, and this - i have a crush on every nice guy with an irish or israeli accent - SO TRUE!